yadayada

Well.

It's been a really long time. I went crazy and deleted all my blogs, like I do every once in a while.
I just don't like to keep things like that.
Anyway

It's almost March, which is absolutely insane in my opinion.

Currently I'm sick, this is week 5? I suppose.
I don't know.

I'm starting to realize I'm pretty selfish.
I have the opportunity to take medicine and be half way healthy but I tend to refuse.
I think that's selfish of me and I'm working on it.
I don't like being dependent on things.. at all..

It's weird how much experiences effect everything that someone will do.
Something completely unrelated to just makes you do everything differently.
It's really annoying, especially when you know you are doing it but you can't really change.
Well technically you can but just because you are aware of something doesn't make it any easier to take care of I suppose.
It makes it at least tolerable I suppose, when you realize why you do something and gives you a tiny tiny bit of hope that you'll be able to deal with it later.
I'm not sure.
I'm rambling, I'm very aware of that.

Hope, what's that even mean really?
1.the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.

2. a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.

3. grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery.

4. a person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her last hope.

5. something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope

that's what the dictionary says at least.

Sometimes I wonder if hope really makes a difference in situations.
Does your hope really change the outcome?
or
Does it just make the outcome that much worse if it isn't what you hoped for.

Now I'm not that cynical I have hope too don't get me wrong but does it make a huge difference?
Well maybe I am that cynical, but like I said, experiences change everything.


Cynical
1. like or characteristic of a cynic; distrusting or disparaging the motives of others.

Knowledge changes everything also.

Not necessarily the "smart" knowledge but more the worldly knowledge...

posted by Kara @ 8:09 AM 0 comments

attention.

Lalalalalalala ;p

posted by Kara @ 1:28 PM 2 comments

What's your addiction?

I'll never fully understand why I do certain things I do.
You might consider it sad or pathetic.
I'm not one to care.

I'm almost positive that you all do at least one thing and you aren't even sure why you do it.
Some are habits I guess, but why did you do it in the first place? Is it really a good reason?
Most likely no, but that's not what matters.
Fighting yourself is probably one of the hardest things.

Usually you don't have much of a support, but yourself.
Unless you gain the courage to tell someone.
Doing that can result in many things these are the most vague two I could think of.
1. Judgment
2. Support
Now those are very very vague.

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It is as though you are a slave to yourself.
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posted by Kara @ 11:38 AM 0 comments

It is very hard to be reassuring to yourself.

I know nothing and I claim to know nothing.
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Fear.
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

The fear is there because there is something to fear.
When there's nothing to fear the fear will cease.
There will always be fear here because fear is.
One fears many fears.







Deep down you know it's the fear. The fear of fear itself sometimes.

Not anger or hate but pure fear that drives you.
The fear makes the anger and the hate.
That's why you feel you should fight back.
Fear makes you mad.
Fear drives you mad.
Fear is so many things.
Fear is life changing.

Yet there is nothing to fear. Unless you want to believe in such a thing as "Fear".
Fear is an emotion, so they say, but you believe in emotions right.
What is it to believe.

Fear is there, how you choose to react to the fear you have.... that's up to you.
It's a big decision, think it over.
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It's not being a coward. It's being sane enough not to bother the insane.

posted by Kara @ 12:10 AM 2 comments

"If they're still breathing there's hope."

posted by Kara @ 8:03 PM 0 comments

2007 7 7 7 7 7 7 7.. wait I thought 7 was a lucky number?

Here are some pictures from 2007 :D:D

posted by Kara @ 8:47 PM 1 comments